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– where affinity groups can be together without the presence of the oppressor – exist: so that tough conversations can be had with fewer guards up, so that you can communicate thousands of ideas in a single collective sigh, so that you can cry together with those who don’t just sympathize, but empathize.

It doesn't matter if you have tons of them, you would always long for more.

Interracial relationships aren't a panacea to end racism, of course; nor can any type of relationship be over-generalized as better than another.

Compare that with 1980, when less than 7% of new marriages took place between interracial couples and the share of overall marriages was just 3%. In 1987, about the impact of interracial marriage on society, 43% of Americans said more intermarriage has been a change for the better.

That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.

So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.




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(July 2012-October 2012) During an interview with Ryan Seacrest, Taylor explained that her single "Begin Again" is about, "When you've gotten through a really bad relationship and you finally dust yourself off." Coincidentally, the then 22-year-old was enamored with 18-year-old Conor Kennedy.