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This, the "I love you," and the actual marriage proposal are The Three Big Uncomfortable Maybe-I-Am-Completely-and-Embarrassingly-Misreading-This-Situation Moments for a guy.So no matter how you feel about coupling up, please, be gentle.There are two types of guys in this world: the ones who want you to be their girlfriend and the ones who don't but naively think that's what they're supposed to do. There is something incredibly straight-forward and refreshing for a guy about not having to broach this topic himself. Maybe you're afraid of freaking him out if he's not "there" yet. If you've been casual for a while and the interactions are more than just hooking up after 1 a.m., my bet is that he's already thinking it and just hasn't gotten up the nerve to ask you yet.The first type is the one who has taken you on actual dates. I remember a woman I was dating years ago casually turning to me while we were out with friends and saying, "I don't want you to hook up with other girls." That was fine by me. It takes time for a guy to work up the bravery to sit down at the end of a night of bar-hopping and just blurt out "I don't want to see other people. "I know, I know, it seems frustratingly easy to utter a few simple words.Keeping up your self-protective wall for too long can stunt the growth of the relationship.When you figure out that you’re both equally invested in creating a longer-term relationship, this creates a sense of security that allows each partner to safely open up, be more expressive, and develop a stronger bond.An exclusivity talk or a convo about commitment will ensure that you’re both on the same page.

Any answer other than an enthusiastic "Sounds great" is ego-crushing.I’ve been here too many times to mention but I’ve never quite known if there was an unwritten rule for how many dates before relationship talk should make it into conversation.I’m sure you’re the same so I’ve done a little digging to see what the general feeling is on it. I thought I’d help things along or feel better by asking, “So what is the deal, I mean, are we seeing other people, or…” It was a moment of weakness. The whole tenuous, if promising, thing collapsed on itself a short while later. My Break-Up 911 online workshop is going to gently get you back on your feet. And while I can’t purport to read your mind, I’ll assume you’re craving what most humans do: significance and security. And after a few months you really do want to get serious, and you want a committed relationship, then of course you owe it to yourself and him to discuss it. When you do feel the urge to have a meta-conversation, tell him (or her) instead about how much fun you have with that person, how much they rock, how attracted you are to them–and welcome those comments from him.Does he want to know you’re sort of weaning off this other guy? As soon as she tries to get him to submit to certain rules or titles, I warned her she’ll scare him away, and he’s already far away.

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A graduate of Maastricht's Drama School, Reinout Scholten van Aschat received a Best Actor Golden Calf in 2011 for his lead role in Maarten Treurniet's THE HEINEKEN KIDNAPPING and has subsequently appeared in Alex van Warmerdam's BORGMAN, the biopic JOHAN - SOCCER MESSIAH, and Boudewijn Koole's BEYOND SLEEP, among others.

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