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And, maybe you think that lesbians aren’t like straight women on this front, but enough of them are for it to be inconvenient.

I have observed, from going to lesbian venues, that a few things matter a lot when I’m trying to date women..

This turns online dating into quite the time commitment so, to speed things up, I start bashing out entertaining comments on people’s profiles. ’ I also worship at the font of the mighty Camembert.’ Two-hundred and thirty-six times I do this. Nonetheless, I walk her to her bus stop and it’s the moment of truth. Conversational chemistry’s one thing, but when it comes to really clicking, Cher had it right: it’s in their kiss. But sometimes that number is zero I’ve now managed a grand total of two dates.

I decide to up the numbers of women I’m meeting by going speed dating.

After meeting an amazing woman at my own party and letting her slip through my fingers, I resolved to start dating and not stop until I had a girlfriend. Don’t set yourself unrealistic targets Weirdly, two weeks after signing up to Guardian Soulmates, I haven’t received a single reply. ’ And so, one week later, I find myself on a blind date.

I decide not to do things by halves and set myself a target for contacting four women a day, every day. Never underestimate chemistry ‘You’ve spend how long internet dating? well OK, maybe our interests aren’t exactly the same. Her tongue unrolls from her mouth like a pink window blind and I pull away in a panic, realizing something very important.

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